Yes, my 3♣ bid was a little pushy, but it pushed them up a level.
A spade lead seems the least risky, so I tried that. Of course it fared poorly. My partners know I always find the worst lead on every hand. But when East cashes the diamond ace to drop the king, and then the spade king and a third spade, I know partner has the AK in hearts. Just ruff the spade, then cash the heart queen and the club ace. A second heart to partner's AK will still take our 5 defensive tricks to set the contract by 2 tricks.
Partner ducked the second heart, apparently under the firm impression that I had the jack, because I led the queen. But it can NEVER cost for partner to overtake the heart. Surely the defensive simulations should have made that clear.
Instead of down 2 tricks, East made 4♢.
I'm still crying.